Nicole McKee was living the Kiwi dream.   

At 23, she'd chalked up experience working in a law firm, got engaged, and was ready to give birth to a baby girl.   

"I had the cool family life, with the house, the fence, the man, and the dog", she laughs.   

Now a Member of Parliament, and third on the Act Party's list, McKee's quickly become adept at the loud-mouthed, rough and tumble of Parliament's debating chamber.   

But in an emotional interview with Newstalk ZB, her speech starts to slow and body stiffen.   

"We were waiting at the train station, watching fire engines and ambulances go past... wondering what had happened."   

"Because he didn't turn up, we had a feeling it was him."   

“He drove fast. It was his fault. But we weren't expecting the mess that we saw.”   

It's the first time McKee's spoken at length about the crash that claimed her fiancé's life.   

She reveals they'd been together since the age of 15, and he proposed just days before he died.   

"His name was Kane."   

A week later, and three years after she was told it would be a struggle to get pregnant, McKee gave birth to her first child, who she calls an "angel."   

But that too, was traumatic, as she grappled with a reality that had turned her life upside down.   

"I was meant to have a home birth, and not only had I lost my man.... but [then] my baby was also breech", she says.   

McKee says she was determined to stay awake and give birth, refusing pain relief for 38 hours.   

"My proudest moment is January the 13th, 1997, being able to push out my daughter with her left foot first and come out the other side."    

Fast forward to the present day, and the pro-gun, free speech advocate is still adjusting to the halls of power.   

Before the 2020 election, she cut a controversial figure, pushing against the Government's firearms reforms after the Christchurch terrorist attack.   

It was then that she met Act leader David Seymour, and with the party's surge at the polls, made it into Parliament.   

"I'm surprised I'm here... to be honest with you, I didn't actually think that I would be capable of doing some of the things that we're doing."  

As she says these words, a defiance emerges across McKee's face, almost like she's discovering her newfound self-confidence in real time.   

“But I am more than capable.”   

She’s now married, and has four children - three with her current husband.   

McKee says she feels “lucky”, although memories of her past don’t go away easily.    

“When you lose someone that's really close to you, you go through these different stages, you have anger, you have hurt, you have hate, but I think by the time you get to nearly fifty... all of that gets pushed aside”, she says.   

“I'm starting to get a bit teary-eyed because I'm just thinking of all the really good times that we had. I can't even remember arguing with him.”   

“I miss his laughter.”   

Asked what she would tell a 21-year-old Nicole McKee, she doesn’t skip a beat.   

“Have no regrets... it’s okay to make mistakes”, she says.   

McKee tells me she lives by that.   

“[Regrets?] I have none.”