The coaches of a Wellington College rugby team have been stood down for six matches after a game had to be abandoned because of foul-mouthed abuse towards the referee from the sideline. 

The Wellington College Under-15 white side was leading the Secondary School Rugby division 3 match against Porirua-based Aotea College u15 white by 22-19 last Saturday when the referee blew the final whistle in about the 58th minute, a man at the game told the Herald. 

“It was a great game that was sadly decided by adults’ behaviour.” 

The referee’s decision to end the game early came after a barrage of insults from one of the Wellington College coaches, along with some verbal - although not foul-mouthed - backing from a parent, the witness said. 

“The coach called the ref a c*** about 10 times, so loudly that both teams could hear. [And] he was saying, ‘Are you f***ing blind?’ to the ref.” 

Even the coach’s own players - aged 13 and 14 - didn’t escape his rage, the man said. 

“He was saying, ‘Stop being such f***ing idiots’ to his players, and ‘f***ing really?’. It was close to making some of his boys cry.” 

Some Wellington College rugby coaches have been stood down after a referee was forced to call off a game against Aotea College in Porirua, due to sideline abuse. 

A Wellington Rugby spokeswoman confirmed they were aware of the incident, but referred comment to College Sport Wellington, which manages secondary school sport competitions for member schools in the region. 

College Sport Wellington executive director Bryan Dickinson confirmed coaches from the Wellington College side had been stood down for the next six matches after a judicial hearing on Wednesday, 

The hearing came after a complaint about coach behaviour at the game, with College Sport Wellington speaking to both schools, Wellington Rugby and Wellington Rugby Referees. 

“At the same time, [Wellington College] is working with the referees’ association to reinforce the expected standards of behaviour to their players, coaches and parents.” 

They would also be reminding their wider community about the need for respect and good behaviour in the next school newsletter, Dickinson said. 

“I should note that all parties have been proactive in working together to resolve this issue.” 

Wellington College’s rugby programme includes high-profile former All Blacks such as Piri Weepu, who coaches the 1st XV. He was not thought to have been involved in last Saturday's incident. Photo / Photosport 

Wellington College’s rugby programme includes high-profile former All Blacks such as Piri Weepu, who coaches the 1st XV, and College old boy Neemia Tialata, who is the programme’s director. They are not thought to be involved in last Saturday’s incident. 

The school’s director of sport Dave Keat could not be contacted today, but told the Herald earlier this week the school did not condone bad behaviour on the field or sidelines. 

“If this is proven … then we’ll deal with it ourselves, internally, as well”, he said before Wednesday’s hearing. 

“We’re just about to send a reminder to all our players, parents and community of the need to respect referees - well, respect anybody, basically, make any sporting event a safe environment.” 

When reminded Saturday’s incident involved a coach, rather than players or parents - bar one - Keat said the expectation on coaches of behaving with respect “goes without saying”. 

“We hate seeing this on the sidelines, and we’re making big strides ourselves to ensure that Wellington College itself is a safe environment, so that players, coaches, parents and spectators are able to come and enjoy the football. 

“I know that the sports directors across all the schools are working together to try and ensure that we do create these environments for our boys to play safe.” 

Wellington College Sport’s Fair Play Code includes respecting referees, the opposition and their supporters, playing within the rules, and “enjoy[ing] yourself”, according to its website. 

Aotea College director of sport Phil Roache declined to comment. Wellington College headmaster Glen Denham did not respond to a request for comment. 

Rugby matches occasionally called off - referees’ leader 

Wellington Rugby Referees’ chairman Ian Dallas said it was always the referee’s decision on whether a game needed to be called off, and if a formal complaint should follow. 

“We have to let our referees deal with the game as they see fit, and then we back them every time. We’ve had a couple of games called off early this year, one at a Colts level where it was player behavior. 

“It does happen, [but] not a lot.” 

It was usually spectators, rather than coaches, who misbehaved on the sidelines, Dallas said. 

“I think most of the colleges are pretty conscious of who they have looking after … their teams.” 

Referees have the final say on the field, whether it's at kids Saturday sport or on the international stage, such as when Matthew Carley yellow-carded All Black Sam Cane at Twickenham last year. Photo / Dan Mullan / Getty Images 

An Eastern League first-division football game between Gisborne United and Wainui Sandbar was also abandoned early by a referee last Saturday, amid fears for the match official’s wellbeing due to player behaviour. 

Central Football has since issued sanctions under New Zealand Football’s disciplinary code, chief operations manager Donald Piper said today. 

Meanwhile, Dallas said the referee involved in last Saturday’s called-off Wellington College-Aotea College rugby match was fine. 

“He said some people came and apologised to him [after the game], and said he’d done a good job.” 

Dallas’ message to those involved in all aspects of the game was to temper the bad behaviour, not the passion. 

“Don’t ever lose your passion, because if you do, we might as well all go home.” 

Mum calls out parents’ sideline behaviour 

Last Saturday’s incident comes after a Christchurch mum posted a video to TikTok calling out fellow parents for laughing at, and making mocking comments toward, primary-school aged children taking part in a cross-country race. 

Alicia Shaw was supporting her sons – aged 6 and 8 – at the running event for their school on May 14 when she heard other parents calling kids who finished near the back “slow” and say amongst themselves the kids were being “lazy”. 

“At the very end... this dad, right by them, goes, ‘Oh, here comes the walking club’ and starts cracking up … the mums around him were laughing.” 

The children who were walking past him at the time were exhausted and seemed upset, Shaw told the Herald. 

“How dare you come at children who are tired. They have been running their little hearts out and they’re children... [to] laugh at them, it’s really disgusting.” 

Bad behaviour by parents and other adults on the sidelines of kids’ sport has long been the target of many initiatives, especially amid fears some might be put off taking part. 

Only 7 per cent of the more than 900,000 Kiwi kids and teens aged 5 to 18 are meeting guidelines for physical activity, according to figures on Sport New Zealand’s website. 

Cherie Howie is an Auckland-based reporter who joined the Herald in 2011. She has been a journalist for more than 20 years and specialises in general news and features.