Warning: this story contains allegations of family harm that may be upsetting to some readers.

A woman who says her former partner assaulted her has described a “house of horrors”, alleging she was punched, kicked and suffocated.

Today, she told a district court jury that if the man wasn’t using his fists, he would take out his frustrations on her with a crutch and throw a chair at her son.

Nor was the family dog exempt, with the woman alleging she saw him beat the animal with an electrical cord and said he later dangled it by its legs.

“We were isolated and abused in the house by him,” she told the jury in the Wellington District Court.

The man denies 17 charges, including male assaults female, suffocation, assault with a weapon, ill-treatment of an animal, supplying a Class C controlled drug to a young person, and common assault.

The man instead claims the woman, whom he met on the dating app Tinder, was infatuated with him and was jealous of the “many, many, many, women” he had at the time.

He denied the two were ever in a relationship and told the jury they had sex once. He said her son had been smoking cannabis for years.

In an opening statement to the jury, the man, who is representing himself, mentioned his long-running grievances with several state agencies, including claims that the police and Crown put his children and ex-partner into methamphetamine rings.

He told the jury he’d been in state care as a child and locked in cells from the age of 7.

He also claimed the physical injuries he’d suffered from accidents left him incapable of confrontation.

‘I think he was just using me’

The woman told the court how she’d thought of them as a couple at the start but over time the relationship deteriorated.

“I think he was just using me, at the end of the day,” she said.

She said she’d helped the man with his many challenges, taking him to his appointments, because he was a disqualified driver.

After six to eight months, their relationship took a turn. He became more controlling, “acting as if my house was his house”, she said.

“If he got angry, he looked really frustrated and angry. He used to punch me in the nose, he beat me in front of my son, and would cover my nose and mouth,” she told the court.

She described feeling dizzy and light-headed and struggling to breathe as he allegedly put his hand over her mouth.

“There were some good times, but most of it was a bad time; it was like a house of horrors,” she said.

Under questioning by Crown prosecutor Wilber Tupua, the woman described how the man’s relationship with her son was initially good, but it also deteriorated.

She said the man had him running around the property and treated him like a slave.

She alleges he hit her son and belittled him, calling him names.

She also told the court the man and her son would smoke cannabis joints together or spot cannabis oil on the stove.

The woman said the man encouraged her son to keep taking the drug even when she said he’d had enough.

The man was arrested after he allegedly tried to suffocate her again. The jury was shown pictures of her bruises from the alleged assault.

“I want my life back and I don’t want to see him anymore. I want him to move on like he promised,” she told police in the interview.

‘He was a man whore’

While the man is representing himself, he has a stand-by counsel, James Mahuta-Coyle, who questioned the woman on his behalf.

Under cross-examination, Mahuta-Coyle suggested it was the woman who’d got angry that day and thrown a key tree at the man before smashing a set of drawers.

He suggested the man was trying to settle her down when she kicked him in the groin.

The woman rejected kicking him and claims she was the aggressor, saying she had thrown the tree at him because she was terrified of what he was going to do to her. She denied smashing the drawers.

Asked why she didn’t mention the earlier instances of violence during that police interview, which was played to the jury, the woman said they were only asking her what had happened on the day he was arrested.

She also said it was the threat of violence that forced her to leave the house for extended periods of time, but denied the man had looked after her son while she was away, saying he could look after himself.

Asked about her feelings over the relationship, the woman said she didn’t consider it romantic, particularly after the man’s behaviour became violent and controlling.

She denied she was jealous that he was seeing other women.

“He was a man whore. He even admitted to me he was a dirty old man,” she told the court.

She agreed the man smoked cannabis to alleviate chronic pain he suffered as a result of injuries, which is why she initially agreed he could grow two cannabis plants for his own use.

But she said this morphed into more than 30 plants, which he was selling to his friends.

She denied a suggestion by Mahuta-Coyle that there was an agreement she’d share in the profits from the operation, saying she didn’t smoke cannabis and had been left out of pocket as a result, including having to pay a large power bill.

“He’s a narcissist who can’t control his temper or his intake of illegal drugs,” she told the court.

The trial before Judge Peter Hobbs is set down for two weeks.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help:
If you're in danger now:
• Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.
• Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you.
• Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else.
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Where to go for help or more information:
• Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7)
• Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7)
• It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450
• Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children.
• Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7)
• Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence
• Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women.
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Catherine Hutton is an Open Justice reporter, based in Wellington. She has worked as a journalist at the Waikato Times and RNZ. Most recently she was working as a media adviser at the Ministry of Justice.