Q Why didn't we change the flag when we became an independent dominion 100 years ago?

A Because we lacked imagination and self confidence.

Q What's wrong with the current flag?

A It's got another country's flag on it. We're not beholden to anybody anymore. We are New Zealand.

Q Did our soldiers die for the flag?

A Yes. But they were probably more concerned about freedom, our country, their mates, their mums and combating evil rather than a piece of cloth.  They were probably also thinking about Kiwis and Silver Ferns and all sorts of other imagery at the same time.

Q Why have people said the Silver Fern looks like a fish skeleton? 

A Because they are ignorant simpletons. Our war dead are buried under it. John Walker won a gold medal wearing it. Shame on you.

Q Why didn't we just have a simple referendum in the first place on whether we wanted to change the flag or not? 

A C'mon! Who would ever vote for something that doesn’t exist. Choose between our flag and this blank space. Get out of here. That's just dumb. Find some flags and put them up to a contender. It's the only thing that's worked about this process.

Q Are the alternate designs uninspiring? 

A Yes.  But chill out. You don't have to vote for any if you don't want. Just vote no in the second ballot and let's see how it stacks up.

Q Why did a committee do a road trip around New Zealand without ideas or audience?

A Who knows.  If they turned up today with the 40 designs they'd get full houses. Then we'd find out if Red Peaks is the real deal.  Which I dont think it is.

Q Is the Labour Party saving the day with their amendments? 

A No. Too little too late from a party who's always wanted to change the flag. Your behaviour in this has proved you to be hypocrites.  You're opposition, not leaders with stunts like this.

Q Is this a cock up?

A Absolutely. We've proven ourselves too immature to have a sensible debate about part of our national identity.

Q So what would you do, Mr Smartypants?

A I’d shelve it for a year. Let everyone calm down and have another crack. It's too important to stuff up. The implications of this both ways could last generations.