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Francesca Rudkin: School holidays stirs up parental guilt

Author
Francesca Rudkin,
Publish Date
Sun, 21 Jul 2019, 10:32AM
How do we get the balance with our technology addiction right? (Photo / Getty)

Francesca Rudkin: School holidays stirs up parental guilt

Author
Francesca Rudkin,
Publish Date
Sun, 21 Jul 2019, 10:32AM

For most school kids the July school holidays ends tomorrow. My family has enjoyed it, juggled to make it work, and on some days I’ll admit I just concentrated on surviving it.

I find school holidays is when I’m faced with the brutal reality of my parenting.

To the good.

I’ve been working less through these holidays so we’ve managed it without the need for holiday programs or babysitters for the first time in a while.

We’ve had a blast. There has been a trip to Te Awamutu for a rhythmic gymnastics competition and a few days in Tauranga catching up with the grandparents. We’ve had friends to stay, been to the movies and had a good chuckle at my 10 year-old daughter's one cent refund from the IRD. The letter sits on the fridge, a reminder to watch our money down to the last cent.

But I’ve also at times given in and allowed my children to build large estates on Minecraft, win matches on Fifa 19, and watch You Tube clips featuring sassy and funny Australian teens.

Sometimes we all need a break.

But the break comes with two companions – guilt that you shouldn’t need to, and the anticipation of what inevitably comes next. The anticipation is the worst, because if you open the technology floodgates, you know you’re gonna pay.

After two weeks, the challenge of getting devices out of my kid’s hands is part of my day – threats and bribery are my staple, but mysteriously disappearing chargers have their place too. As I said, it was always going to end like this.

A news story this week focused on the amazing St Pauls Collegiate Forest Camps, in which year 10 boys spend six months at a camp out of Taupo.

No cellphones, social media, electronic games or TV is allowed. They do class work for four days a week, and spend the other three days in the outdoors - tramping, kayaking, mountain biking and the like. The boys cook and care for each other as well. I know kids who have done this – and they love it.

A University of Otago study on the program has discovered it may boost the boys creative thinking and lift their self-esteem and satisfaction with their lives. 

We don’t need a study to tell us this. Remove the distractions from communicating with each other, make teenagers responsible for themselves and their peers, give them team and confidence building exercises, and teach useful life skills.

It would be a shock if this wasn’t a positive experience, it’s amazing for teens, it wouldn’t be wasted on adults as well.

The bit that stands out for me is about removing distractions from communicating with each other.

The digital world has improved our lives, and provided parents with some amazing new ways to engage kids, so the challenge for those of us not lucky enough to attend the St Paul’s camp is how do we put our digital habits in the most balanced place – getting the good and avoiding the crap.

Today, I spoke to chat to Georgetown University Computer Science Professor Cal Newport about how we can incorporate technology into our lives in a way that truly benefits you. Cal isn’t anti-technology, instead he has a rational and moderate approach towards how technology can add value to your life without over taking it.

And then I can try again next school holidays.

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