What a weird week of sport. If watching the 20km walk from Doha being raced at 3am to avoid the heat wasn't strange enough, try the Korean golfer banned for 3 years for flipping the bird to a fan who put him off his tee shot, before even attempting to understand the circumstances around Joseph Parker's sudden arachnoid induced illness - and then there's the Rugby World Cup.
To quote the Dear Departed Fred Dagg, "talk about twisted Trev". (Younger generations google the man, I refuse to sully his comedic brilliance by having to explain to you who he is/was. Shouldn't this sort of stuff be taught in schools?).
Anyway back to rugby's WWC (World Weird Cup). The kooky stories kicked off this week with Japan beating Ireland, ramped up with Ardie-G's on-field goggles and featuring the incredible decades-old sight of an All Black prop playing the full 80mins of a test match!!
Whaaaaaaaat? Who's writing this script, Santa Claus?
Japan are for real, even if the result was a little on the sur-real side. Their defensive commitment alone well worth the shock result. But as for Ardie's eye-protection equipment, fine for the 1st-5 who first wore them sure, but whether they'd even stay on when wrestling away in those deep dark places was always going to be the ultimate test. And, as expected, they were about as useful as carrying a recently updated rulebook onto the pitch.
Then there was the truly bizarre tale of Atu Moli the AB loosehead who played, get this, every single minute of the 80 vs Canada. Since when does any frontrower even do that these days?
Well I can tell you it was the first time for our lot since the 2011 tournament. Test matches have been more like rest matches for the fatties of late, most props never lasting more than 50mins out there without being subbed.
So for a sport and a tournament that rarely throws up anything even slightly off-road it's been a wild week of WTF stories. Which is why I won't be completely surprised this weekend to hear that the All Blacks lost to Uruguay after half the squad came down with spider-bite-syndrome.
Apparently there was this waitress called Suzy...