I’ve had a good, solid, protein-y start to the day. Went out for breakfast this morning on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. You know, it’s kind of old money-ville. Lots of old New York ladies walking about in mink coats. And people with impractically large dogs.

Anyway I went to meet an American mate of mine who’s had a bit of a stink week. Her grandma died earlier this week after a long illness, and after days of supporting her family and organizing the funeral etcetera she was looking to start her weekend with a comfort food fix so a Kiwi buddy and I met her at a diner for a bit of good morning cholesterol.

What’ve you been working on? She asked me. What’s been in the news?

I sighed. To be honest the news is never a great pick me up for anyone feeling a bit low. Ah nothing greeeeat. ISIS took an airfield. Russian troops entered the area around Donetsk.

And if you felt as though the World was really in a state, there was this terrible incident with the 9 year old girl who fired this gun at a range near Las Vegas. She lost control of her UZI, the gun took off in her hands as the recoil and she accidentally shot and killed her instructor.

See like I say – the news isn’t exactly a warm bath when it comes to feeling better about life.

Well my friend bowed her head.

A nine year old. With an automatic gun. You Kiwis must just think America’s the laughing stock of the World she said.

No. No. No I don’t. Said my Kiwi buddy.

For a start America never gets credit for all the things it does well. 

Like what? she said.

Well? Well. You need only look out this window.

Huh?

We’re at a diner, he said, on 74^th and third. A ten minute walk from here is the largest synagogue in the World. A twenty two minute walk from here is one of the biggest mosques in the Americas and a thirty minute walk from here is the largest Roman Catholic Cathedral on Earth. Iraq might be falling to bits but you couldn’t possibly say America doesn’t do religious diversity at least a little bit well.

Ok. She said. I’ll give you that.

You know what else? He continued. Pedestrian crossing lights. You see, he really was just looking out the window brainstorming for ideas.

The majority of American cities these days don’t just have a stop man and a go man and maybe a flashing man for in between. They’ve got the countdown clock. Like a bomb in a Bond film that thing ticks down, so you know exactly how long you have to safely walk the street.

She smiled and a waiter arrived with our orders.

My buddy was on a roll.

Ahhh. He said. He’s the thing America does better than any place on Earth. Breakfast: Simple. Effective. Superlative.

You want a 12 egg omelette with whites only, a side of house potato mash and bottomless coffee? No drama. It’ll probably cost you all of four bucks. You want a bowl of porridge that’s a little bit posh but not too posh? How about we caramalise some bananas and chuck em on top.. make a bit of a porridge brulee cross? Fantastic.

In America it’s normal to get your fresh muffins toasted and smashed then drowned in butter. It’s normal to put dried cranberries in everything.

And who needs your namby pamby Parnell Rise $35 eggs benedict with salmon on the side when for 3 bucks you can grab a bagel with a schmear of cream cheese or lox? Or pancakes with half a punnet of blueberries gooooing up the centre? Americans don’t know it but America does Breakfast best.

My American friend was giggling by this stage. My Kiwi friend added cream to his coffee. I cut into a waffle stack the size of a newborn baby.