Slugs and snails are a real pest in the garden at this time of the year - moisture and new plant growth encourages them, while egg shell barriers don’t work at all. 

Control measures that work: 

Cantareus aspersus is, to us, an exotic species of snail. It is commonly accepted that it was introduced to New Zealand by the French around the early 1860s. The reason for this is really simple - the brown garden snail is highly prized as escargot in the Mediterranean region. In fact, it has always been the preferred back-up for the slightly larger but closely related vineyard snail (Helix Pomatia). 

Recently I read that European populations of Cantareus have become depleted as a result of non-sustainable over-harvesting of wild specimens. These days the species is the subject of heliciculture, the captive rearing of these delicacies, also known as snail farming. 

I suppose there may be a few people out there who can set aside the horrific idea of eating invertebrates (quelle horreur!) and who would like to be part of the latest ecological craze of harvesting a truly wonderful resource that yields fat-free, cholesterol-free protein from the comfort of your own back yard. 

I have tried this recipe many times and demonstrated it on live television with consenting adults (Good Morning Show) and absolutely wildly enthusiastic kids (What Now?). 

• Snail control á la Gourmet involves collecting the finest, fittest and fattest garden snails from the threatened garden areas. Put them in big jars and "starve" them for four to five days on old white bread. This ‘starving’ is an important procedure. 

• As you will undoubtedly remember from experiments carried out at your primary school's nature table, the snails have a habit of excreting dark stringy poopy-plops. I think it's time to inform you of the fact that these dark stringy poopy-plops will have to be evacuated from the snail's gut system before cooking, simply because they taste like…yes, they taste rather bad! 

• White bread will slowly replace the dark excrement and it improves the taste of the final escargot beyond belief! 

• Put a big pot of water on the boil and chuck all these starved snails into the boiling water. Simmer them for about three minutes. Boil the water first before launching the snails - do not over-cook the snails for they will turn out tasting like rubber bands.  

• Take the snails out, leave them to cool off otherwise you'll burn your hands. 

• Remove the bodies from their long-term residence with eyebrow tweezers or entomological forceps. This is known in the trade as a forceps delivery. 

• Fry them for perhaps four to five minutes in some simple garlic butter. Again, do not fry too long because they will turn out like garlic-flavoured rubber bands. 

• Recently, Allyson Gofton made a very helpful suggestion to even further improve the culinary effort of our pest control: starve the snails on garlic bread so that they are automatically marinated, alive! 

Voilá, this is my recipe for the Bugman's Escargot. 

You can serve them in their own shells - remember to make a mental note of which snail came from which shell otherwise fights may break out. 

In any case I can recommend them with a 1965 Chateau Tahbilk - they go well together. 

Bon Appetit! 

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