Ruud Kleinpaste talks to Francesca about snails. His recipe for Bugman Escargot is below!

I suppose there may be a few people out there who can set aside the horrific idea of eating invertebrates (quelle horreur!) and who would like to be part of the latest ecological craze of harvesting a truly wonderful resource that yields fat-free, cholesterol-free protein from the comfort of your own back yard.

I have tried this recipe many times and demonstrated it on live television with consenting adults (Good Morning show) and absolutely wildly enthusiastic kids (What Now?).

Snail control á la Gourmet involves collecting the finest, fittest and fattest garden snails from the threatened garden areas. Put them in big jars and "starve" them for 4 to 5 days on old white bread. This "starving" is an important procedure.

As you will undoubtedly remember from experiments, carried out at your primary school's nature table, the snails have a habit of excreting dark, stringy poopy-plops. I think it's time to inform you of the fact that these dark, stringy poopy-plops will have to be evacuated from the snail's gut system before cooking, simply because they taste like… … yes, they taste rather bad!

White bread will slowly replace the dark excrement and it improves the taste of the final escargot beyond belief!

RECIPE: 

Put a big pot of water on the boil, and chuck all these "starved" snails into the boiling water; simmer them for about 6 minutes. (Boil the water first before launching the snails - do not over-cook the snails, for they will turn out tasting like rubber bands!).

Take the snails out, leave them to cool off (otherwise you'll burn your hands).

Remove the bodies from their long-term residence with eyebrow tweezers or entomological forceps.  This is known in the trade as a "Forceps delivery".

Then fry them for perhaps 5 to 6 minutes in some simple garlic butter. (Here again: do not fry too long, because they will turn out like garlic-flavoured rubber bands)

Recently, Allyson Gofton made a very helpful suggestion to even further improve the culinary effort of our pest control: "starve" the snails on garlic bread, so that they are automatically marinated, alive!

 Voilá, this is my recipe for the Bugman's Escargot.

You can serve them in their own shells (remember to make a mental note of which snail came from which shell, otherwise fights may break out).

In any case I can recommend them with a 1965 Chateau Tahbilk - they go well together

Bon Appetit!