The moa was a visionary bird well ahead of its time.
Bringing them back from extinction makes perfect sense - we'll be setting them free.
They can finally live their best life. Spread their wings - metaphorically, of course, cause they don't actually have wings. But they'll be free in this brave, new modern world.
Firstly, they're vegan. So hip and trendy box number one - big tick.
Wait till somebody introduces them to the incredible burger, or eggplant sandwiches with vegan slaw. They'll love that.
But wait, it gets woker.
The women are dominant - one and half times bigger than the men and two and half times the weight.
Trendy, progressive box number two - tick.
Number 3 - turns out they were quite oppressed back in the day. Victims, you could call them. Also very trendy today.
Hunted to extinction by men with spears, slaughtered and eaten. You know what that means in 2025 - lived experience. Wait for the wellness podcast and the Oprah interview.
- South Island Jurassic Park? Peter Jackson backs project to bring back moa
- 'It's pretty amazing': Researcher involved speaks on plans to revive extinct moa
- 'We're not going to see moa again': Otago Uni expert questions de-extinction project
And then there's the obvious but awkward issue of being a bird with no wings. A bird that can't fly.
Kiwi are so embarrassed by this they only come out at night in case any one notices this deformity.
But moa stand at up to 3.5m tall in broad daylight, which is quite hard to miss. It's not like you can hide behind another bird or a tree or anything else, really.
They stick out like the Sky Tower, which is more fodder for the podcast, no doubt.
So to the moa, who we will soon raise from the dead: Welcome to a brand new world. Welcome the world you deserved from the beginning.
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