I have a THING about Meghan Markle.

I don’t trust her. 

It’s a theory based on nothing more than gut instinct. It’s the vibe. Here’s the thing though: she feels fake. Opportunistic. Like she’s there for the wrong reasons.

Let’s look at the evidence.

Firstly, the story that accompanied the first allegedly "blind date".

She claims she knew nothing of him, and asked no questions other than, “is he nice?” WhatEVER. 

Girl, after one collapsed marriage and at age 36, you are asking WAAAAY more stuff than ‘is he nice’. You are asking does he have an ex-wife, does he have kids, is he normal, does he have a sense of humour, what’s his job, does he live with his mother, is he weird, and that’s just for openers.

So did she know he was a Prince? YES SHE DID.

Next was the pace at which she embedded herself into that royal family, yet still claiming to be so oblivious to royal protocol and history. I mean come on Meghan, you’ve got Netflix, who hasn’t watched The Crown?

Let’s look at all the headlines and how often the words ‘protocol breach’ are used.. from the chewing of gum in public, to the taking of selfies with commoners, sorry, ‘fans’, to the crashing the Queen’s Xmas do, to wanting a BANANA cake as the royal wedding cake. I mean I love a banana cake as much as the next guy, but this is a royal wedding, not afternoon tea with Nana.

The messy bun hairdo, the haute couture outfits, and this latest piece of news that she may AGAIN break royal tradition and give a speech at the wedding. Never been done before. Sure I admire her gung-ho approach BUT, this is the royal family, an ancient institution steeped in tradition and history.  And yes, that is a good reason for her to go in trying to change it, but it’s the monarchy for goodness sake, not a teenage school project. What’s the one thing your Mum always tells you when you go into a new relationship? Don’t go in believing you can change the person. Meghan? She’s going in thinking she can change more than a thousand years of history!

Which brings us to Harry. He’s smitten, he’s infatuated. Infatuation is not love. He’s also extremely impressed that after the shy mute blondes he's previously trotted out, who looked more like they cared for their Pimms and dry than Sharon from Sussex waving on the sideline, he has found in Meghan a partner who loves a camera and a microphone and a few selfies. This is extremely rare in Royal circles. Here’s someone who likes to be on show doing what she does best: acting. Because that’s what it is. She’s acting, it’s not real.

I’m not sure how much of this is because I just didn’t like her character in Suits, and I’m not going to say I’m never changing my mind, because we are off to the royal wedding in May to broadcast this show from there, and I may well be whipped up into Meghan mania, who knows? But all I know for now is that I’m suspicious.