I’m noticing a lot of tourists in town and I’m just wondering what kind of experience they’re having. 

I was walking through a well-known shopping precinct in Auckland, Newmarket, with my daughter at the weekend and there was a guy walking in front of a few of us just weaving across the footpath getting in everyone’s way and each time someone tried to pass him he’d cut them off and weave back across them just making sure the whole footpath was his. As we got closer and needed to get into a shop I said “excuse me” as we tried to pass him to enter it. He didn’t make it easy for us but as I glanced down I noticed on top of his jandals he was sporting a Home detention ankle bracelet. What sort of criminal might he be… just out here annoying shoppers? Who would know with the current justice system. 

Then we walked past the train station where we saw a staffer explaining to a very bewildered American tourist that the trains weren’t working so she’d have to take a bus. She was laden with bags and looking increasingly frustrated as he tried to show her when and where she had to walk to go wait for a bus. 

I thought at this point what sort of experience tourists must be having here as they share the streets with crims in ankle bracelets and can’t get a train for love nor money. 

I went to pick my daughter up from a party later that night and as we were driving home through an affluent suburb in Auckland, St Heliers, a large group of teenage boys were standing in the middle of a very busy road, with cars whizzing by them either side and I’m wondering what on earth they’re doing and how dangerous this is. As I get closer, instead of them getting out of the way they move closer to us and start running at our car with their arms raised and they’re throwing shoes at cars. I had to swerve to get past them and the flying shoes. 

Closer to home we see a group of what would’ve been no more than 14 year old boys standing on the road barely able to stand up straight with their thumbs out trying to hitchhike. This is the leafy suburbs of Auckland on a Saturday night. 

Then I read about the Snoop Dog concert. Headline was.. ‘Incredible performance to an overbaked crowd’. The review said, “too much weed, too little energy..” that’s not referring to Snoop by the way, that’s the crowd the reviewer’s talking about. A fight broke out.. ”between two men..[took] six security guards to break up, rollies being passed around left, right, and centre, and girls falling over each other,” the reviewer says. “It was almost embarrassing to see how badly Kiwis seemed to rise to the occasion ..” the reviewer said. They concluded that Snoop’s performance was superb but maybe don’t see him live in Auckland, they mused. Clearly because Aucklanders don’t know how to behave. 

I’m just not sure when the bar got so low on behaviour, but I try to imagine how we must look to tourists. No trains, the home D crims sifting through your shopping precincts with you, large groups of kids menacingly taking over the streets at night, concert goers so baked they can barely function and then post concert gridlock to try to get home. And don't forget the bus driver who got stabbed, the gun fight in Pukekohe and the woman assaulted in her home in Piha. 

Just another quiet weekend in Auckland.