You know how everyone complains the lights at supermarkets are too bright? People reckon they do it on purpose.... it's a trick to make you awake and alert, no matter the time of day, so you keep shopping and buy more stuff. 

Well, the opposite is true of movie theatres, right. 

You go there and they dim the lights because it makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. The screen is a sensory overload - that's what you're paying for the. The lighting enhances that.

Well, can I just say that you shouldn't never go the movies early, before they've dimmed the lights. 

I went to the movies the other day in the afternoon. My usual cinema was not showing anything at te time I wanted. 

Off I go.. down to... wait for it... Queen Street. 

$17 for parking. That's on me. 

$40 for the ticket and coke... which went down smoothly after I choked on the price. 

Anyway, the cinema's empty but the lights are on. Like flood lights. Like Supermarket lights. 

There is precisely zero glamour about a Queen Street movie theatre in full glare. 

It's like when they turn the lights on at a nightclub. 

The seat was so worn in the backside and shoulders there was no tread left on the thing. 

Then there were the stains...and I don't really want to go into those. 

The carpet was all worn and tatty and under the seats - popcorn for Africa. It's like somebody vacuumed the bits you walk on and everything else they forgot. 

Now. I'm not complaining about this. Believe it or, I just don't really complain about bad experiences at restaurants and stuff because I always think, if you don't like something, just don't go. 

And I like going to the movies. Even though I knew it was a bit gross and tatty, I sat down and pretended I was at the Silky Otter. 

All I'm saying to you this morning, dear listener, is you wouldn't shop in the dark, so don't visit the movies in the light.