What do you think we’re more likely to hear Dan the Weatherman say on TV when he’s giving us the weather forecast?

Is he more likely to say: “And tomorrow it’s going to be a lovely sunny day in the Garden City”?

Or he is more likely to say: “And tomorrow it’s going to be a lovely sunny day in the City of Play”?

Well, if he was doing it right now - of course he would say “Garden City” because he won’t even know yet that Christchurch is now the “City of Play”.

But I’ll be you anything - I’ll be you $100,000 (which is the amount of money that’s been spent so far on this exercise) - I’ll bet you $100,000 that you will never hear Dan the Weatherman talk about the “City of Play”.

Not that the success of ChristchurchNZ’s new promotional idea is likely to be measured by the number of mentions it gets on the weather forecast - but if it was, it would be a big-time failure.

Just like you’ve never heard people talk about Christchurch being “Fresh Each Day” (remember that one?). And just like you never hear people say “Of course you Can-terbury”. Talk about groan material.

I’ve never liked city slogans - mostly because they’re pretty naff. But, when it comes down to it you generally just get one shot at it. Because once you’ve got a slogan, it sticks.

Which is why Christchurch will always - whether you like it or not, or whether the people at outfits like the city council and ChristchurchNZ like it or not - Christchurch will always be the Garden City.

A slightly more burned-off garden city than it used to be, thanks to the excess water charge regime. But it’s been the Garden City since whenever that line was made up - and it always will be.

Which hasn’t stopped ChristchurchNZ - which is the city council’s economic development and tourism agency - trying to get a new brand for Christchurch.

It wasn’t that long ago that this same outfit was doing the rounds telling people that Christchurch was the “City of Exploration and Endless Opportunity”. From what I saw, so much work went into that idea. And what happened to that? Disappeared. And the same outfit that came up with that, is now pushing the idea that Christchurch is the “City of Play”.

From what I can gather, what they’re trying to achieve with this is to try and get away from the idea that Christchurch is just a gateway to the rest of the South Island.

It wasn’t that long ago that the thinking was that if we could get people to stay just another night or two in Christchurch before they head off to other areas such as Queenstown, then we’d see some real benefits.

But we don’t want to be a gateway anymore, apparently. Which is why we’re now telling people that this is the place to come and stay - and “play”. The City of Play!

Someone who does love the new slogan and the new logo is mayor Phil Mauger.

Of course, during the election campaign last year he went on about his vision for Christchurch being a great place to play. So this new line fits in nicely with that.

But, jeepers, what the hell does it mean? It’s actually so vague that it’s probably why this sort of thing just drives me nuts so much.

I don’t need this sort of thing to make me proud of Christchurch. It’s what goes on here that makes me proud.

Like SailGP the other week. The Crusaders. The fact that at the Maadi Cup national rowing champs last week, it was the schools from Christchurch that dominated. That made me so proud of Christchurch.

Marlon Williams makes me proud of Christchurch. The way we responded to the mosque shootings, made me incredibly proud. And the fact we all dealt with so much after the earthquakes but most of us stuck around. That’s what makes me proud.

And the way the kids in this city showed us during those terrible, terrible times that they actually gave a damn and that they really are the leaders of tomorrow.

That’s the stuff that makes me proud.

And I don’t need a slogan or a logo to make me feel that. And I refuse to believe that the rest of the country and the rest of the world need a slogan or a logo to make them think that Christchurch is a pretty special place, as well.

Which is why every time I hear about more money and energy being poured down the drain on such shallow things like slogans, and narratives and brands, I just despair.