A 9-year-old Auckland boy has been told he can no longer play age-grade rugby with his friends because he’s over the weight limit.

The Year 4 student, whom the Herald has decided to keep anonymous, was one of 106 children who applied for a weight dispensation in the Counties Manukau Rugby Football Union club competition – and after being denied, has opted out of playing any winter sport this year. 

But the union says structures are in place to ensure player safety and fairness in competition. 

“He feels terrible and keeps asking why he isn’t allowed to play with his friends,” the boy’s mother told the Herald. 

Self-conscious about his weight, the boy questioned, “What is wrong with me?” Now, every time his parents mention rugby, he bursts into tears and is hesitant to go to school and face his friends. 

Before the 2025 club rugby season, the boy’s mother said they applied for a weight dispensation for the first time. 

From Years 0-3, club rugby is open weight, despite contact rugby being introduced in Year 3. In Year 4, a 45kg weight limit is introduced. 

The boy, who weighs 54kg, was told the same week that the season was set to kick off at the start of May, that his dispensation application had been declined by Counties Manukau Rugby Football Union (CMRFU) for “safety” reasons. 

“Last year he weighed roughly the same ... So why could he play the last two years and not now with the same kids, who are the same age and same year?” his mother said. 

“He has always been naturally tall and built, and while his physical size may be greater, his mental and emotional maturity remains unchanged. He is fully aware of his strength and often assists players on the opposing team when they fall and get tackled. 

“What is happening now feels like a form of exclusion, singling out children due to their weight. Many children already face social challenges and teasing at school regarding their size, and this decision only reinforces that negativity.” 

CMRFU’s head of community rugby, Matt Megaw, acknowledged the situation “hasn’t been great for this young player and his family” and said the union was working through it with his rugby club. 

“At Counties Manukau Rugby, we care deeply about the wellbeing of all our players, and it’s never our intention for a child to feel excluded or disheartened when it comes to participating in our game,” Megaw said. 

“That said, there are processes and structures in place across our junior rugby framework that are agreed upon by our junior clubs collectively and administered by the junior rugby committee.” 

Megaw said the committee and junior clubs were tasked to follow the grading structure to ensure player safety and fairness in competition. 

“We understand that decisions around dispensations can be difficult, and we encourage all concerns to be worked through with the relevant club in the first instance. 

“We also acknowledge this is a complex issue, and one that requires ongoing review and dialogue with our stakeholders.” 

It’s understood the young boy was initially told there was no other grade he could join at the beginning of the season, before CMRFU introduced a new Year 5 open weight grade. 

“The introduction of the Year 5 open grade pilot is part of our broader effort to create inclusive pathways, and we’ll be monitoring our findings closely to ensure we can continue to refine this approach in partnership with our clubs,” Megaw said. 

New Zealand All Blacks players during the national anthems at the Rugby World Cup. Photo / Andrew Cornaga / www.photosport.nz 

But the boy’s mother has questioned the safety of the grade, asking how it would be any different if her son played against children who are not only older, but could possibly weigh 20kg heavier than him. 

“[He] is mentally a young Year 4. He should be allowed to play with his peers in Year 4. He is not emotionally capable of going to a Year 5 open team. Some kids, maybe, but he is not. 

“How is it not okay for a kid to play in his year grade with Year 4s when he is less than 10kg over [the weight limit], but it’s okay for him to play up a year and in an open team with weight differences of more than 10kg?” 

Megaw said he would not comment further on this specific case or other cases “out of respect for the individuals involved” and to allow correct internal processes to take place. 

A spokesperson for the rugby club, which the Herald has also decided to keep anonymous, said: “I would prefer not to comment on the individual circumstances of this young boy, but I appreciate this is a challenging and sensitive situation for the child, family and the union in having to balance wider participation and safety objectives in the sport. 

“Given this matter relates to competition structures, I would refer any further comment on this matter to CMRFU,” they said. 

As for the young boy, who grew up dreaming of playing for the All Blacks, his mother says he doesn’t want to play rugby any more. 

She said his dispensation application was denied too late to be able to enrol in other sports, so he wouldn’t be able to play any winter sport this year. 

A 2018 study by Wellington data firm Dot Loves Data (DLD) – published in the International Journal of Sport and Health Research – found age-group rugby players who were forced to play with older kids because of weight-restriction rules were more likely to quit the sport. 

“This study found statistically significant churn rates for children who do not play with their peers,” DLD chief data scientist Paul Bracewell said in 2018. 

He added that the weight-banding system in junior rugby was flawed and that player enjoyment for those who were slightly heavier than the norm had been disregarded. 

Benjamin Plummer is an Auckland-based reporter for the New Zealand Herald who covers sport and breaking news. He has worked for the Herald since 2022.