A man who died after a crash near Paeroa had bought an engagement ring and was set to propose to his partner. 

Tony Fox, 34, originally from Te Aroha, was one of two people killed on November 6 after their car hit a power pole on SH2 at Karangahake. 

Fox’s partner, Hayley Gotty, told the Waikato Herald she recently found out he was going to propose and had bought an engagement ring. 

She said this was now a “painful” reminder of the “happy ending” she never got. 

When Gotty and Fox met “it was truly love at first sight”, she said. 

They lived in Waiuku with their 2-year-old daughter, but at the start of November, Fox moved to Ngātea for what was meant to be a month to help run a farm. 

The money he’d earn from that was meant to go towards their future home and, unknown to Gotty at the time, their wedding. 

Tony Fox, a dad of 3, was a typical Kiwi bushman, usually seen in Swanndri and gumboots. 

“I recently found out Tony had bought me an engagement ring. He planned to propose to me when he got back from work [in Ngātea]. 

“[He] had big plans for this and that’s another reason he needed the money to help pay for a wedding. 

“My whole family was in on it but I was yet to know and that will forever be painful that we never got to that happy ending.” 

Gotty said she didn’t want him to go to Ngātea because they were rarely apart. 

“[But] Tony was a man of his word. When he agreed to help someone, he showed up,” she said. 

A couple of days after he settled in, Gotty, their daughter and Fox’ other two children from a previous relationship visited him at the farm in Ngātea. 

Gotty said it was a “beautiful day” which ended with a long cuddle. 

“I still remember him waving from the window as we pulled out of the driveway ... I had no idea that would be the last time we saw him.” 

She said she last spoke to him on the phone at 11pm on November 5, as she was struggling to get their daughter to sleep. 

“Hearing her dad’s voice settled her.” 

Gotty believes it was only 20 minutes after their call that the car crashed. 

It was 3am when she woke to a “dreaded phone call” from police. 

“There are no words for that moment - just shock and disbelief.” 

She said she knew the formal identification of the crash victims would take time, but she didn’t want to wait. 

She and Fox’s brother drove to the crash site, hoping it wasn’t him. 

“That drive was the worst of my life. Everything felt like slow motion.” 

They arrived at the site at 5am. In a paddock, Gotty saw what she believed to be a body covered by a sheet, and “somewhere deep inside, I knew”. 

Hayley Gotty and Tony Fox were together for six years. Gotty learned he was going to propose to her after a crash took his life. 

She didn’t approach any closer, with Fox’s brother taking care of the identification. 

“I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. 

“There are no words for that kind of heartbreak. My mind went straight to the children — their dad, their world — gone. 

“That still breaks me every day.” 

Ever since, Gotty said their world had a “massive hole” in it, though she still feels Fox around them. 

The couple were together for six years - “the best years of my life,” she said. 

She said they had many memories together, but the ones Gotty would treasure the most were the little things, like morning coffees, long drives and “getting the cows in”. 

“Seeing his truck pull in after work, hearing the quad bike after milking ... those simple, everyday moments were what life was truly about for us as a family. 

“Even knowing he’s gone, my heart will always search for him.” 

Gotty described Fox as a “typical Kiwi bushman” who was usually seen wearing “Swanndri and gumboots”, and who was happiest when ending a day with steak, eggs, chips and a cold beer. 

He was a person with a hard exterior, but had the biggest heart on the inside. 

Hayley Gotty said Fox's death has left a "massive hole" in their world. 

Gotty said she misses his cheekiness, laughter and goofiness, and said Fox looked after her in “every way”. 

“Since he left, the spark in me feels gone, but I will keep going for our children and the dreams we had. 

“Life just won’t ever be the same without him.” 

Gotty said she had been hesitant to share their story, but she didn’t want Fox to be forgotten and she also wanted to help other people going through grief. 

“Life’s so short ... stop and smell the roses. 

“Life does carry on after grief; it just looks different. 

“I don’t believe this grief will ever fully go away. But it is possible to find resilience within yourself and to keep going in their name. 

“He was the absolute love of my life, and I adored every bit of him.” 

A Givealittle page has been set up to help the family financially while they navigate this loss. 

Police told the Waikato Herald they made inquiries into the crash and were now liaising with the Coroner. 

Malisha Kumar is a multimedia journalist based in Hamilton. She joined the Waikato Herald in 2023 after working for Radio 1XX in Whakatāne.