At least 15 innocent people have died and more than 40 have been hospitalised following a mass shooting at Sydney’s Bondi Beach on Sunday.

Australians celebrating the Jewish festival Hanukkah were targeted at the popular beach, in what has since been described as a terror attack.

As we see rolling coverage of these events unfold on the news and on social media, it can be hard to know how to explain them to your children.

They may have seen distressing footage online, heard about it from their peers, or they may be unaware of what has happened.

Here, registered clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire shares her advice on how to talk about these major events with your children.

How do you talk to your kids about what has happened?

Start by listening. Gently ask, “Have you heard anything about what happened in Sydney?” This helps you understand what they know, correct any misinformation, and hear how they feel.

Children cope better when they get clear, honest information from you rather than rumours or scary images online.

How should you approach this for different ages?

For young children (under 7): Keep it simple and soothing. Avoid details. You might say: “Something bad happened in Sydney, far away from us. A person hurt some people, but the police stopped them. We are safe here.”

Stick to routines, offer extra cuddles, and reassure them repeatedly if needed. Young children may ask the same question over and over. This is normal.

For school-age children (7–12): Validate feelings: “It’s normal to feel sad or worried when you hear this news.” Give clear facts without graphic detail and emphasise safety.

If they ask, “Could this happen here?” explain that these events are very rare and point out all the ways people work to keep communities safe. Highlight helpers like police and doctors, and end on a hopeful note.

For teenagers (13+): Teens often know a lot already and may have seen distressing content online. Ask: “What have you heard? How do you feel about it?” Be honest, correct misinformation, and stress that violence never represents entire communities.

Encourage empathy and constructive action, like writing messages of support or attending a vigil. Teens appreciate honesty. If you do not know an answer, say so and offer to find out together.

What should you do about devices and social media, where footage of the events is circulating online?

Graphic footage can be harmful, even for adults.

For young kids: Keep news off and avoid disturbing images completely.

For older kids: Watch news together when possible and explain that repeated images can make events feel bigger than they are.

For teens: Talk about social media habits. Suggest breaks from endless scrolling and explain why graphic videos can be distressing. Encourage them to come to you if they see something upsetting.

Consider parental controls for younger kids and disable auto-play on apps. After checking updates, turn off screens and do something positive together as a family.

What information shouldn’t you talk to them about?

Avoid talking about

• Graphic details of injuries or violence
• Speculation or rumours
• Excessive focus on the attackers
• Hate or blame toward groups
• Your own intense fear or anger

Stick to simple, truthful statements and pivot to safety and helpers. If they ask a difficult question, answer honestly but gently, and stop there.

Do you have any other advice for parents or caregivers?

• Maintain routines, because predictability reassures children.
• Validate feelings. Say things like, “I know it’s upsetting, and I feel sad too.”
• Offer healthy outlets. Drawing, play, journaling, or physical activity can help kids process feelings.
• Highlight helpers and hope. Point out the people helping victims and communities coming together. This helps children see that even in dark times, kindness and courage shine through.
• Take care of yourself. Children take emotional cues from us. If you feel anxious, talk to another adult or a professional away from the kids. A calm parent is the best comfort a child can have.
  Watch for signs of ongoing distress like trouble sleeping, clinginess, or withdrawal. If these persist, seek professional support for your child or yourself. Getting help is not weakness. It is strength.

Honest, calm conversations help children feel safe and support their wellbeing. By focusing on security, helpers and hope, you give your kids the best possible comfort in a difficult time.

Where to get help:
• LIFELINE AOTEAROA: 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
• NATIONAL ANXIETY 24 HR HELPLINE: 0800 269 4389

Bethany Reitsma is a lifestyle writer who has been with the NZ Herald since 2019. She specialises in all things health and wellbeing and is passionate about telling Kiwis’ real-life stories.