WARNING: This article discusses sexual abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.

Anxiety, agoraphobia, eating problems and a fear of the dark were just some of the issues a mother noticed in her teenage daughter after it was alleged she was sexually abused by a family friend.

“She was threatening suicide and I couldn’t figure out what to do and then one day she let it all out and said [he] abused me. It hit me like a bomb,” the mother said.

A 58-year-old man, who currently has name suppression, is on trial in the Kaikohe District Court on three charges of an indecent act on a child under 12 and one charge of male rapes female under 12.

The charges relate to a woman whose family was close friends with the accused’s family while living in Auckland and then Kaitāia several decades ago.

The complainant says that, when she was under 5 and the families were living in Auckland, the accused picked her up and took her to work, where she was allegedly indecently assaulted.

Around the time both families moved to Kaitāia, when she was 9, she says she was raped on the accused’s property.

The complainant gave evidence today that, as a 9-year-old, she recalled becoming upset at the news the defendant was getting married.

“When I was 9 I thought we were meant to get married because I thought that was what was meant to happen when you have sex with someone.”

When defence lawyer Chris Muston put it to her that his client never did anything sexual to her, she responded: “No, that’s wrong, he did.”

The complainant’s mother gave evidence that the defendant was “taken” with her daughter from a young age but she never suspected she was being groomed.

“I remember the day he took her to work, she was pre-school and she came back with a bag of lollies. I thought that was strange but I never suspected anything was going on,” she said.

“He was quite taken with her, like she was a cute little thing.”

The man from Kaitāia has name suppression until the end of the trial. Photo / Peter de Graaf

She recalled the time the defendant was getting married and her daughter becoming agitated and saying inappropriate comments like, “Does he kiss you like this?”

The mother said her daughter’s mental health declined over the years with anxiety, agoraphobia, constant crying and food issues.

“It got worse in teenage life. She couldn’t cross the road, was afraid and, while we were in Kaitāia, she suddenly decided she couldn’t touch bananas.

“I had to take her out of school at 12 and, by 18, she wasn’t doing anything on her own,” the mother said in evidence.

One day the girl told her mother she’d been abused but wouldn’t elaborate.

When questioned by her mother about why she hadn’t spoken up earlier, the daughter explained that she wanted to shield her mother because of the close family ties.

The jury is expected to retire later this week.

SEXUAL HARM

Where to get help:
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email [email protected]
• For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.

Shannon Pitman is a Whangārei-based reporter for Open Justice covering courts in the Te Tai Tokerau region. She is of Ngāpuhi/Ngāti Pūkenga descent and has worked in digital media for the past five years. She joined NZME in 2023.