ZB ZB
Opinion
Live now
Start time
Playing for
End time
Listen live
Listen to NAME OF STATION
Up next
Listen live on
ZB

'Shame on the family': Man's descent into violence, porn, adultery after marriage

Author
Belinda Feek, Open Justice,
Publish Date
Mon, 22 Apr 2024, 10:57am
(Photo / File)
(Photo / File)

'Shame on the family': Man's descent into violence, porn, adultery after marriage

Author
Belinda Feek, Open Justice,
Publish Date
Mon, 22 Apr 2024, 10:57am

Parminder Dhaliwal had only been married a month when he began his descent into beating his new wife, drinking, smoking, watching porn and cheating on her.

There was also slapping, punching, kicking, hair pulling and strangling - and during one assault she lost a tooth.

The tortuous relationship continued like that for months, and even after the police got involved and he was charged, he breached his bail by beating her more.

The 31-year-old Auckland man appeared for sentencing in the Hamilton District Court last week on 12 charges ranging from male assaults female to assault and injuring with intent to injure to injuring with reckless disregard and strangulation, which Judge Glen Marshall dubbed the most serious offence.

Dhaliwal and the victim met in December 2020 and got married in January 2021.

A month later the pair argued and he slapped her in the face.

In June he punched, kicked, slapped and pulled her hair, and in September of that same year, he punched her multiple times to the head in an argument over the payment of bills.

The following month he again punched her multiple times to the head, and the assaults continued in December 2021.

In June 2022, he again punched, kicked, and slapped her so hard that it caused her to lose a tooth. He also strangled and shook her.

The next month he slapped her again and kicked her in the stomach as she lay on the floor.

In the assault in August 2022 he pushed her onto the pavement where she struck her head and lost consciousness.

The assaults continued each month through to November.

In January 2023, while on bail, the pair argued and he again slapped her and he began packing up his belongings.

She tried to calm him down and apologised but instead, Dhaliwal kicked her multiple times in the stomach and legs then pinned her down on the bed and strangled her as she struggled to breathe.

He then punched her several times, strangled her again and repeated that at least three times.

Dhaliwal then picked up an electric fan and swung it at her. The guard then fell off and it exposed the blades, which were operating at the time.

He then punched her “really hard” in the chest, causing her considerable pain.

‘This cycle of abuse must stop’

Crown solicitor James Lewis said Dhaliwal’s offending “escalated dramatically” after being bailed.

He acknowledged there was a “limited nexus” between Dhaliwal’s upbringing, outlined in his Section 27 report, and the offending.

He had written a remorse letter but Lewis said it focused more on the son than the victim.

However, Dhaliwal’s counsel Charles Bean said his client’s remorse letter did talk about the victim and the remorse was real.

“It also expresses the shame that he has brought on his family. He has apologised profusely to ... his partner and also to the community, the Sikh community.”

He said the victim was “brave enough” to attend a restorative justice [RJ] conference with Dhaliwalin which she was “very frank about how she viewed this man and his conduct”.

“He knows that this cycle of abuse must stop,” Bean said, in seeking an end sentence of 18 to 20 months in prison.

The victim read her statement to the court in Punjabi, but Judge Marshall surmised it by saying she hoped Dhaliwal could make amends and become a better person.

“But she also makes it very clear that no one deserves to be treated the way you treated her and her son.

“All she wanted was for you to be a family and for you to be a father and husband that she could be proud of, not the person who ended up beating her in the way you did.”

Judge Marshall noted at the RJ conference he told the victim that he was drunk at the time of the assaults and didn’t know that he would hurt her.

As well as a 20 per cent discount for his guilty pleas, Judge Marshall allowed a further 20 per cent for his previous good character, attending the RJ conference, and support from the Sikh community upon his release.

He jailed Dhaliwal for 25 months.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you're in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.• Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you.

  • Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else.
  • If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay.

Where to go for help or more information:

  • Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7)
  • Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7)
  • It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450
  • Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children.
  • Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7)
  • Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence
  • Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services
  • White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women.

How to hide your visit:

If you are reading this information on the Herald website and you're worried that someone using the same computer will find out what you've been looking at, you can follow the steps at the link here to hide your visit. Each of the websites above also has a section that outlines this process.

Belinda Feek is an Open Justice reporter based in Waikato. She has worked at NZME for nine years and been a journalist for 20.

Take your Radio, Podcasts and Music with you