It wasn't a pretty sight and certainly not something that would whet your appetite.

Motormouth Maurice Williamson was living up to his name, spouting forth to an after dinner audience at a techhie conference in the City of Fails.

He came specially dressed for his MCing role, a fire-engine-red jumpsuit topped off with a blonde, curly wig, the sort of outfit that was made famous in the early 80s television series The Great American Hero.

But there was nothing heroic about his performance and he's now wishing he had some of the powers that the jumpsuit gave the character in the series, particularly the power of flight, invisibility and of resistance to injury.

Since the performance he's certainly exercised two of the powers, he's taken flight and has become invisible but he hasn't been able to avoid injury.

Apparently his tongue failed to engage his brain and even though his brief was to be as entertaining and funny as he could be, it seems he was the only one laughing. He took dad jokes to a whole new level with some in the audience accusing him of being a misogynist and giving a performance that would have been better suited to a really embarrassing stag do.

One of the dinner guests said they sat there (those who stayed that is) thinking he's got to be joking. And that's exactly what he was doing, but it seems he was the only one who got the joke.

The theme of the conference was comics, super villains and super heros and there are no prizes for guessing which category Motormouth Maurice fell into.

Shell-shocked from the after dinner performance, women at the conference held a breakfast the next morning, ironically aimed at mentoring women into senior management positions.

The conclusion they were left with from the Tory MP, they say, was that the only way ahead was to have a well endowed chest and to spend time on their knees.

Needless to say it's unlikely the woeful Williamson will be invited back to MC the conference next year. But then if you listen to the pundits, he could be too busy anyway, running for the mayoralty of Auckland, trying to succeed the lascivious Len Brown.