Times have changed.

Unless you live alone, the router your Internet Service Provider provided you with is not up to the job.

In fact, even if you live alone, do the math...

Your phone. Your laptop/iPad/tablet. Your TV. Maybe your heatpump. Your security system. Possibly even your fridge and your washing machine.

(Yes, of course there are WiFi washing machines. Don't pretend you haven't always wanted one)

Now extrapolate that over a household with four or more occupants.

Then, if any of those occupants are teenagers, multiply internet usage by a factor of 10.

Like I say, that entry-level router just ain't gonna cut it no more.

So why not choose something absolutely enormous?...

 

The Taipan AC3200 from D-Link is much bigger than this photo may lead you to believe.

In fact, however big you think it is right now, you're underestimating it by at least 25%. I can only assume the designers (if there were any) were inspired by the alien mother ships in Independence Day and decided to come up with something slightly bigger again.

It's not just that the Taipan is large, it's also the most impractical shape. It reminds me of when you're trying to cut pumpkin into equal sized pieces and you end up with a bit that isn't square, isn't triangular and has 17 corners. Except way bigger. And blue.

Oh, did I mention the SIX ANTENNAE? Admittedly, these are about the same length as any other WiFi antenna, but they're twice as wide. At least they sit subtly, flush with the rest of the device, right?

Nope.

Not in any way whatsoever. The antennae stick out a mile in every direction ensuring the Taipan takes up about twice as much space as it was already taking up. Which was all of it. And then some.

That being said...

Does it... you know... work?

You better believe it.

I'd done a little homework on the Taipan before I got my hands on it and was really looking forward to the prospect of 2 seperate 5Ghz SSIDs to play with, as well as the more conventional (but crowded) 2.4Ghz range. In theory, that means you essentially have the option of connecting to 3 different routers in one modem.

Once I had the Taipan all connected and powered on, I got a bit confused with the setup... until I stopped trying to interfere with the wizard and just let the modem do the work for me. That's right, it turns out D-Link knows more about setting up VDSL connections than I do. All I really had to input was my ISP username and password which was easily found on their website and the Taipan figured out the rest.

Trouble is, hardly anything I own recognised the 5Ghz SSID options. I tried to force the phones and tablets that could see the 5Ghz profiles to use them, but they promptly forgot them in preference to the standard 2Ghz option. Turned out, it didn't matter at all because once again, the more I let my devices connect automatically, the better everything worked.

The Taipan's range was noticeably better than that of my previous, boring, ISP-supplied router, easily covering my entire 3-storey house.

But what impressed me straight away (and has continued to do so) is the sheer reliability. Nothing stops to buffer anymore, not on the PC, the phones, the iPads, the laptops or the Chromecast. The Taipan decides how much bandwidth is required for which task and seems to do an amazing job of keeping everybody happy.

I can only imagine how my user experience will be enhanced if they ever get round to putting fibre down my street. (Seriously, 2018? What are you waiting for? Kanye to be president?)

The question is; is the Taipan AC3200 $500 better than your existing router? (which I'm assuming was probably free when you signed your life away to your ISP for a discount off your Sky subscription or free access to Lightbox)

Well, if the movie you're streaming ever ground to a halt just when it got to the good bit, causing you to reload it, then fast forward through it to get to where you were up to, only to overshoot the mark by 5 minutes thereby completely giving away the plot twist... then I think you'll agree, $500 is a small price to pay.

Make no mistake, the Taipan is the wackiest looking piece of tech you'll ever see. It's too wide to fit on a shelf. It's too high to fit under anything. And if you decide to hang it on the wall like a piece of modern art, good luck getting the power, modem and ethernet cables to it without creating the impression of a giant, blue robot spider sitting in the middle of an unsightly techno-web.

But man, this thing works. So just give it it's own bedroom. The guest room maybe. How often do you have visitors to stay anyway?

Click here for more information on the Taipan AC3200 from D-Link