I see the Washington Post is clearly still living in the dark ages, with a headline on a story saying ‘rules for dating after divorce’.

Here’s the thing, here in 2019, there are no rules.

Implying there are rules to follow, implies a universal approach to something deeply and uniquely personal to you, and something that really doesn’t have a rule book.

But also, why are we still being told how to do things?

Fashion rules, diet rules, dating after divorce rules, rules are important if you’re at school, on the road, or following instructions at an airport, but when it comes to life itself, and being human and emotions, why are there rules?

Surely we now live in a time where you do you.

No one has the right to tell you where to breastfeed, who to love, how to date after divorce, or how to be happy.

That’s the other biggie isn’t it? Constantly being told how to be happy.

If it’s not enough already that we’re being told what to eat, and when, (plant based and early) how to get around (bus or bike) and where to breastfeed (not in public apparently), we’re also being assaulted with ‘tips’ on how to be happy.

How can we be happy when we’re so busy following so many bloody rules?! Where’s the time to be happy?

The rules are exhausting!

Rules feel very 1950’s, children should be seen and not heard, women should wear skirts and pop the dinner on, men should all look the same. Well the times they have-a-changed, and the new world order is that the rule book’s been thrown out.

The mantra’s on how to do everything the same, as though we’re all just one same universal person.. have expired.

People row their own boat these days.

And when it comes to dating, be it after a divorce or otherwise, the heteronormative ideals of man plus woman aligning and fulfilling applicable roles are long gone. And if they’re not, they should be.

I shudder when I read headlines like ‘rules for dating’ and rules for being happy, because it immediately puts us all in one box.

And being slightly anti-authoritarian, I feel uncomfortable when an armchair expert tells us how we should all be doing something.

Surely the best way for you to do something is to do it the right way for you?

It’s like child rearing. No one knows your baby and how to intuitively deal with it, better than you.

So we need less self doubt and rule following, and more gut instinct and confidence in ourselves.

And we certainly don’t need anymore headlines telling us the ‘rules’ on life.