So if you’ve noticed that the world seems peaceful and springlike lately it might be because parliament is in recess.

Our MPs have vacated Wellington and spread to all four corners of the Earth. 

Yesterday we learnt that Mark Mitchell is spending the break  in South Sudan. Of course South Sudan is right beside Somalia and is the world’s youngest declared country coming into existence in 2013. Since then dozens of factions have been fighting for control wand the fights have killed thousands and displaced millions. And when they’re fighting they neglect to make food so a fair few South Sudanese are starving even though it’s a fertile place with loads of land.

There’s a peace deal floating around but just an hour ago it started to fall apart again. Former Labour leader David Shearer is running the UN peacekeeping operation there with a handful of Kiwis and so Mark Mitchell is going to have a look see. I guess he wanted to go somewhere less stressful than the Beehive.

The Speaker of the House, Trevor Mallard is having a more traditional break. He’s in Cornwall on a cycling holiday. Which it makes it remarkable that he had the time to call off the Simon Bridges leak inquiry.  His press release came out mid afternoon saying that somehow Mr Mallard has figured out who the leader and texter was. That the person is linked to the National Party and that’s that. He must be very dedicated to the job to send that statement out at 2am Cornwall time in the middle of a holiday. Curious really, it’s almost like someone else made his decision for him.

And then there’s Shane Jones who seems to have decided that he would spend the recess giving media entertaining sound bites.

Yesterday he got stuck into the the councillors and ratepayers of tasman who pulled the plug on the Waimea Dam. Notably he railed against the idiotic lotus eaters of Tasman. Of course lotus eaters refers to a tale out of Greek mythology written by Homer in The Odyssey. Odysseus comes across a tribe on an island who spend their whole time eating lotus plants which is a narcotic which leaves them drowsing in a drugged out peaceful apathy. Nice image of Motueka stoners Shane but not quite right.

Firstly, the greenies at the council meeting were not peaceful or apathetic. In fact they were more like shrieking banshees.

And secondly the Dam’s biggest problem was that the councillors of Tasman were just cheap people looking after their self interest by keeping rates down at the cost horticulture which seems a bit self defeating.

And now today Shane Jones has said people on the dole and those before the courts could provide some of the labour needed to implement the Government's One Billion Trees project.  The verbose MP told a public meeting at the Tauranga Citizens Club . ''If you can get up and go to work you should be made to do it.''

He’s said it before of course but this time he’s made a bit of a boo boo. The problem with forcing people before the court to get out and plant some trees is that until you’re proven guilty, you’re innocent.  So now we have a Minister wanting to shanghai innocent people into working gangs.

I don’t know about you but I think it’s time for the MPs to come back to Wellington and do some real work.  At least that way we know where they are and we can keep an eye on them.