The allegations in Nicky Hager’s book “Hit and Run” are inaccurate says the Defence Force. They say it didn’t happen how Hager says it did.

Hager stands by his version. The Defence Force says Hager got the location wrong, but has conceded that civilians may have died in what they refer to as ‘Operation Burnham’.

So what happens next? Hager still wants an inquiry. The Government wants it to blow over. The Defence Force wants to forget the whole thing. And the public is split, it seems.

The relationship between the Defence Force and the public has always been awkward. Neither gets the other. War is a theatre like no other. It’s horrific. It’s traumatic. There by the grace of God our soldiers go. Tomorrow, today even, life could end. And for eight of our soldiers in Afghanistan, it did. Tragically. Irrespective of who you are, unless you're a soldier you can't imagine what it is like to live and work in that environment.

And the nature of war has changed too. Suicide bombers are common.  IEDs – improved explosive devices can be triggered by pressure, or when an insurgent uses a mobile phone to detonate it.  That’s why airstrikes are so often the preferred option, but they’re indiscriminate. Civilians die.  It can be difficult to identify targets. And those who are on the ground face split-second decisions - kill or be killed.

That doesn’t make it right. It just makes it the reality.

And at times Jo Public doesn’t get that. Jo Public doesn’t get what goes on in those environments. Nor why a full open inquiry into the allegations made in this book could, in fact, endanger New Zealanders going about their business all over the world.

Should there be an independent inquiry? Yes, there should. But should the findings be made public to one and all? No. That would serve as propaganda. If it's reported that Afghan civilians died at the hands of New Zealand forces, it could trigger retaliation attacks particularly on New Zealanders abroad.

Instead, some of our most experienced and trusted individuals should make up the independent inquiry team and whatever their findings are, it is they who should oversee the recommendations. Nothing will be achieved by publicly telling the world what went wrong.

And we mustn't lose sight, too of the extraordinary work our Defence Force does. Our SAS is highly respected, they’re among the most elite soldiers in the world. And In Bamiyan, the province in Afghanistan where our regular Defence Force was based, the Hazara people were distraught when we left.  Our solders kept them safe and free from persecution from the Taliban. On one trip into Bamiyan, the Hazara I spoke to told me they wanted our soldiers to stay in the province indefinitely.

So yes, there are some questions that require an answer. That civilians appear to have died in a raid in 2010 is a tragedy. It simply shouldn't have happened. Innocent people shouldn't die at the hands of any military force. But lets not position this as a ‘them and us’ situation. The New Zealand Defence Force is on our side, and they have and continue to do remarkable work in theatres all over the world.