A lot has been said and written about the perils of online haters and how vile they can be .. but the latest victim of online trolls I think deserves some discussion.

You may have heard of the parenting blogger Emily Writes - she has a hugely popular Facebook page, her blog is massive - she’s had millions of hits. She’s written a popular book and she is the editor of the parenting section on the Spinoff’s website. I’m not yet a parent but her stuff still appeals to me, because it’s a funny, no-holds-barred approach to raising your mini humans that makes it demystifies that big leap in your life.

Sometimes what she writes gets people riled up - so much so that a while back she posted a guide for the parents communicating on her platforms of how to be less defensive in their debate and a bit more civil and constructive.

She’s no thin skinned wimp - she’s dealt with plenty of online vitriol like a champ - but then she wrote about the vaccination debate and the attacks were so vile and so vicious that she's decided to take down her page, and remove herself from the online conversation completely.

For all the parents for whom she’s provided refuge, solace and humour in the middle of the long nights with small children, that’s just such a shame. For Emily, who only ever set out with good intentions, it’s completely unfair.

But here’s what else it is. Embarrassing. It’s embarrassing that grown ups cannot debate like adults and disagree like adults without resorting to abuse. Hounding someone you disagree with out of the room doesn’t exactly speak volumes about the validity of your argument, let alone the strength of your character.

It’s also embarrassing that this is the example being set for kids by their own parents. How can we lament the evils of society and the impact they have on children, when this is how their parents lead the way?

It's embarrassing that we wear our pink tshirts to protest bullying and our ribbons to show our support for suicide prevention and the importance of reaching out for help .. while so many of us are secretly aggro keyboard cowards, who like to call anyone with feelings a snowflake. What impact do you think that has?

I refuse to believe that popping your head above the parapet needs to result in you getting your head blown off.

Let me give you a few tips from Emily’s own guide that might help improve your own online interactions.

When someone else’s opinion annoys you to the point you want to abuse them, ask yourself a couple of questions .

Is it just badly worded?

Are you just feeling defensive?

Are they just feeling defensive?

Are they just trying to help?

Do you really need to care about this?

And if all that fails, step away from the keyboard. If you can’t engage in constructive debate I reckon fall back on the advice of every Mum, ever - if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.