By: Barry Soper | Tuesday, May 01, 2012 6:00 AM

May Day has traditionally been a day for raucous celebrations, don't be surprised if you see The Kermits out today bouncing around on their pogo sticks, or gangling around and clacking their Morris dancing sticks.

But there's little celebration in the Tory camp at the moment, unless of course they're reading the opinion polls. At the moment there seems to be one calamity after another, even if the mud washes off without a trace.

The latest involves their critical coalition cobber Banksie who's only in Parliament because of the cuppa tea that turned sour with State Homie John Key.

Banksie's proudest time in politics was when he was made Minister of Police in the Bolger Government. Growing up with parents who were frequently on the wrong side of the law, Banksie wanted to become a copper himself but couldn't make the cut because he was too short.

Now he's being investigated by the cops, essentially because they have no choice once a complaint's made under the Local Electoral Act, and that's been lodged by Labour's Trevor Mallard who's defying his surname in the lead up to duck shooting season. Mallard reckons he's holding the smoking gun on this one.

It's all over donations that were made to Banksie's failed bid to become the country's first super mayor. All the donations were marked by Banksie on his returns to the electoral office as anonymous.

A couple of them for twenty five grand a piece were apparently made by Kim Dotcom who claims he spoke to Banksie about them and the mayoral candidate rang him after they were banked and thanked him.

Banksie claims the only phone call he made was to thank the Big German for coughing up half a million bucks for the Auckland fireworks display on New Year's eve and not for the donations because he didn't know about them, they were after all anonymous.

The timing of the phone call, whether it was after the banked donations in June or after the fireworks early in the New Year, will be critical. There'll no doubt be a record of it that'll be for the cops to uncover.

In the meantime, The Homie's standing by his man, he's got no choice really.

To repeated questions a giggling, but inwardly seething Banksie exclaimed he didn't arrive on the last cabbage boat. Just as well because cabbage boats, if they exist, can't possible be watertight!

Photo: Getty Images