By: Barry Soper | Tuesday, July 17, 2012 6:11 AM

He's as pure as his driven follicles with his mop up top making him look as though he's just stepped out of a snow storm, although given the impeccable coif, without the wind.

Prissy Peter Dunne, currently the longest serving electorate MP who must be running close to a record Cabinet tenure as well given he's a malleable Minister without political boundaries, is on a crusade, to rid the country of party pills.

These are the chemical highs, like the synthetic cannabis that have been on sale in recent years.

He's planning to make it virtually impossible for the pill pushers to ply their trade. There'll be an approval regime which will be similar to the one applied to the importation of new medicines.

A regulator will be set up in the Ministry of Health to test the pills with the producers of herbal highs footing the bill to the testing which will include pharmacology and toxicology tests. It's expected the whole process, which will include clinical trials presumably involving volunteer party pill poppers, will take up to two years.

That'll do one of two things, stop the manufacturers from even considering God's Own as a party pill zone, or drive them underground. Given the fate of other banned substances, the latter's obviously more likely which means the black market cost will rise.

But then they can always pop into the supermarket and buy their cheap wine to preload before parties, so who needs the pills?. If the same tests were applied to alcohol or to tobacco then they'd most certainly be off the market as well given the damage they can cause.

The notion of Prissy Peter ever allowing a mind bending substance into his own human temple is too much to contemplate, although in the past on the odd occasion he has been seen sucking on a pipe, particularly when he's in bow tie mode.

Of course he wouldn't inhale but it's hard to imagine the pipe containing the common garden variety tobacco leaf, more likely sun dried, parched paper that was once printed with one of his many amendments to the Resource Management Act.

Like the parched paper, they went up in smoke as well!

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