By: Mike Hosking | Tuesday, May 01, 2012 7:30 AM

So the Government is getting tough on the boat people. They’re passing new laws to crack down on the mass arrivals.

The first question I came up with was what boat people? Have I been missing the mass arrivals? Has John Key woken up thinking he’s in Canberra? Does he know something we don't?

I suppose you could argue he’s being pre-emptive. If boat people ever do arrive we’ll be ready. But boat people don't arrive and I can’t see how they’re ever going to start.

The reason it’s such a problem in Australia is because the gap between the top of the country and Asia is nothing. It’s literally a short boat ride away. New Zealand is a journey too far. Too much ocean, too much distance, too much risk. Because believe me if they thought they could, they would’ve ages ago.

But Australia is the perfect outlet. Maximum money, minimum fuss and danger, and hardly a major journey. And that's before you get to the fact they have the most extraordinary hash of it policy wise. Instead of doing what John Howard did and turning them around, old Julia and Kevin border on rolling out the welcome mat.

The industry involved in illegal refugees now costs billions. Asylum centres, doctors, lawyers, dentists, psychologists, security. It’s become an out of control circus and the Australian people have become thoroughly sick and tired of it all.

Given all of that, if you’re into people smuggling and you’re sitting in Indonesia organising the next trip, little old New Zealand is hardly on the radar. The cynic might suggest it’s an attempt by our Government to occupy us with something other than the economy or the budget or the public service cuts. It's a litmus issue in Australia and Governments traditionally that take hard lines on illegal refugees do well with the wider public.

But what I do know is there are no boat people, there are no mass arrivals. I’d weigh some reasonable money that it isn’t going to change any time soon. So you’d need to ask whether they’re so devoid of anything to do they’re now making laws for stuff that hasn’t happened.